funkymonkey
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Michigan man accused of fork, chicken attacks | Quote: | A man was accused of stabbing his mother with a fork and assaulting a second woman with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.
Frederick Duane McKaney, 40, of Ypsilanti, was arraigned Wednesday in 12th District Court in Jackson. He faces two felony assault charges as well as one count of assault and battery and one count of resisting an officer.
Prosecutors said McKaney stabbed his mother in the back of the neck with a fork Monday night.
About an hour later, he hit a woman in the head with a plastic bag of frozen chicken. They had exchanged rude words while he rode his bicycle. She needed five surgical staples to close her wound.
McKaney has no attorney on record with the court. |
You have to admire his work! To combine forks and chickens in his assaults shows rare comedic talent!
I wonder what his mother did to provoke the sneak attack from behind and the fork to neck action!
I'm picturing him riding his bicycle with a frozen chicken under his arm looking for a fight spouting insults at strangers lol.
Aaaaah nothing funnier than a person been beaten by a frozen chicken! 
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Frantic
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wait he was cycling round with a frozen chicken?
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funkymonkey
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He must have been!
I think everyone should!
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clevelandspur
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That must have been a huge chicken, 5 stitches need to close the wound? lol
How do you even swing a frozen chicken it seems too awkwardly shaped.
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DayDreamer
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^^^ tie a rope around it or put it in a bag with strong handles i find these two options work best myself
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funkymonkey
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^ Hmmmmm it appears the frozen chicken is indeed a popular weapon of choice and not just particular to Mr. McKaney. 
Have you executed many frozen chicken based attacks DayDreamer???
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